It’s hard realizing that, the people you put yourself out for, don’t put themselves out for you. I’m a single mom and have been for over a decade. I’ve put my children above all else in my life. Even as adults, I take care of most of their financial needs. And it has become too much.
I did the hardest thing ever this week when I was honest with them about my financial and health situation. Supporting three households has drained me, financially and emotionally. The cancer that began in my cervix has metastasized to my bladder. I needed someone else to be in charge for a moment.
Let’s backtrack a little. I have a son who has always been known as the easy child. We don’t butt heads or argue. Ever. Then there’s my daughter. She’s so much like me that we have a love/don’t like relationship. We argue and butt heads on a regular basis. And yet, I was surprised by both of them.
My daughter, Megan, was furious with me for not being honest with them about everything from the beginning. She cried and cussed and had an old fashioned hissy fit. My son, JC, was calm. Said that he understood and everything would be ok. For me not to worry. Then, he went on with his life and Megan stayed.
She is a sophomore in college and is on summer break. And she stayed. And started looking for a job! And came up with a plan. She sat and talked with me about the diagnosis and what it meant and what the plan was with my oncologist. She took charge.
JC is older. Has a fiancé/girlfriend and has given me the most perfect grandchild ever born. And, the day after the confession, texted me about paying his cable bill. His gf is angry that I will not be funding her $2000 root canal and crown and has cut back on my access to my grandson. And he still is asking for financial help. I’m stunned and hurt.
Maybe it makes sense somehow. He never argued with me so he won’t argue with her. But it still hurts that he would let me be limited in the amount of time I spend with my precious grandbaby. I can’t go to their home, which I have paid for for 2 years, without the gfs permission. I get to see them only at church.
Where did I go wrong with him and how did I miss how strong my daughter is?